Presence Over Perfection on Your Wedding Day

Tips and Tricks
Written By Christina Padavano

More than the flowers, the cake, and even the dress (yes, we said it) is one thing that stands true at the forefront of any wedding day — it will end. You will wake up the day after and your wedding will be “yesterday.” And all of the tomorrows after that moment are what matter most. 

If you think we’ve mistyped something here because we plan weddings, we haven’t. At Pinch Me Planning, we are passionate about your wedding and bringing your vision to life for the day, but more so we are overly passionate about the days that turn into months and the months that turn into years thereafter. The moments that build your life together as a couple. The places you will travel to together. The purchase of your first home.The small moments in the kitchen on a quiet Sunday morning with no plans. The in-between moments of everyday life. That’s what we care about around here. And we work with couples who care about those life-building moments, too. 

Your wedding day is simply the starting point. A celebration of love found and a commitment to love that lasts. When looking at your wedding day through a life-long lens, the focus is on being present in the fleeting. Not on showing off for your family, friends, or yes, even strangers on Instagram — but on a genuine celebration of where you are now as a couple and of each small moment that is to come.

With this perspective in mind, we want to share a few tips that will help you and your spouse achieve presence over perfection on your wedding day (and in the time leading up to it, too). 

Lead Up: Find Joy in the Season of Planning Your Wedding

Your wedding day will go by quickly! Everyone will tell you that fact as it approaches. But it’s not until it’s lived that you really feel just how quickly it goes by. That’s why we suggest you seek joy at every turn in the season of planning your wedding. While it’s a time often associated with stress, we’d like to change the narrative. What if the planning process was a celebration in itself? It can be! With most weddings being planned 12-18  months in advance, it’s a wasted opportunity to let so much hinge on one day when there’s a little drop of celebration to be had in, well, everything. You booked your dream venue – pop the bubbly! You dined well at your tasting and landed on the menu — cheers to that! You went by the jeweler to select your wedding bands — head to lunch for a day date immediately following the appointment. There is delight to be found in every planning detail. We love to work with couples who are intentional about the planning process and deliberate in making choices that reflect their love for their day (and celebrate along the way). It makes the process way more fun, trust us!

Lead Up: Visualize Your Day but Include Bandwidth for Shifts in the Plans

Let’s get real: it’s unrealistic to expect your wedding day to go exactly as planned. Yes, the details matter and are cared for meticulously by the Pinch Me Planning team. But the weather can’t be controlled. The ceremony timeline may require pushing. The photographer may have to rework the schedule for the entire day when the groom and his guys take too long at the golf course. When shifts in the plans need to happen, flexibility (and a deep breath) is key. 

So, when you envision your wedding day in the months, weeks, and especially days ahead, it’s important to envision the day and everything you’ve worked hard to bring to life as a couple. But leave some bandwidth for those moments that don’t go as planned. Envision how you will react and redirect your focus back to that life-long lens. To the union that will take place surrounded by the family and friends that know you and love you fully. That usually does the trick to tackle anxiety or heightened emotions in the midst of changed plans.  

Lead Up: Design, Delegate, then Detach

The time leading up to your wedding... that’s the time to dream up and design every detail. Once those details are in place, you can better delegate those details to various professionals who will all work together to realize the vision fully on your wedding day. And here’s the kicker: once those details are in place, and in the hands of professionals,  you have to trust that your vendors have it covered. Not only that, you have to trust that they have your best interest in mind on the day of. Because they do! 

It may seem unorthodox to recommend that our brides detach from the details. But genuinely, it’s what we recommend once it’s squared away with the vendor. The vision is put into place, the trusted vendors are assembled, and you, as a couple, can breathe. They’ve got you. And we do, too.

Now that we’ve covered three key points in the lead-up to the wedding, let’s transition into the day itself, shall we? 

Day Of: Do Your Morning Routine

Do you start every morning with a jog? Or maybe a cup of coffee and your journal? Think about your morning routine (that you typically complete on the weekdays). We recommend that you start your wedding day just like any other day. We find that when couples are intentional about how they start their wedding day — they’re usually more centered and ready to embrace the day. Just like with anything, when we don’t go about our normal routine, we sometimes feel off! To avoid that, just do what you normally do on the morning of your wedding day. Oftentimes, these morning rituals help to calm any nerves or wedding day jitters that many couples wake up feeling! 

Day Of: Be Intentional with Family and Friends Who Traveled to be in Attendance (especially elderly relatives!)

There is such a missed opportunity for many couples who have family and friends in attendance from long distances! It can be so easy to fall into your group of friends on your wedding day. Those you always talk to, who live around you, and who are likely in your wedding party. But it’s important to carve our precious time to spend with those who travel long distances to be with you and your spouse on your wedding day. Especially if they are elderly! 

Being present with those who love you and who traveled to be there to celebrate you and your spouse is one of the best ways to ground yourself on your wedding day. Seeing those people you don’t usually see can be such an anchor to pull you back into WHY everyone is here. And how special it is to have those people in your life. So, be intentional with those closest to you that went to greater lengths to see you marry your person. 

Day Of: Silence Your Phone Notifications


Last, but certainly not least, we recommend that you silence your phone notifications on the day of your wedding. This may seem alarming — that the bride and groom would be completely out of touch — but it’s our way of protecting you. 😉 

When working with the Pinch Me Planning team, we are your day of contact for all vendors and more. This is beneficial in protecting your peace as a couple on the day of your wedding. Sometimes, family and friends won’t know who to call on your big day with a question so they will default to calling you without considering that you’re likely busy getting ready, a tad nervous, and also trying to live in the moment. These calls, texts, and tags on social media can easily steal your mental attention if not checked. The easiest way to remain in a notification-free zone is to just silence your phone for one day (you don’t even have to turn it off, just silence notifications). Your family and friends will understand and you will likely be surrounded by almost all of them anyways! Go ahead and leave the last-minute, day-of questions of vendors and family, to us. Deal? 


As you can probably tell, we are very into presence over perfection on your wedding day. The reality is, as mentioned before, perfection is an illusion. But with the right team around you on your wedding day — one that’s diligent in bringing forth your understood vision for the day — you confidently know that it’ll be YOUR day, your way. Any obstacle, any shift in planning, any spur-of-the-moment thunderstorm, it’s all a part of it. And when you can recognize that, you can see the beauty in your wedding day that is only lived once. 

If you’re a couple who prizes presence over perfection, well, we’re the team for you! To inquire about your 2023 date, please submit our contact form here! We can’t wait to hear from you.


MAINE EVENT WEDDING VENDORS

Christina Padavano
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